How to re-find your head after succumbing to Wedding Madness
I have a groundbreaking theory and it is this: Quite a lot of the extra-expensive stuff you feel you need in order to throw a bonafide, actual-factual wedding continue to be relevant because we, the brides and grooms to be, perpetuate their relevance. We're dragged into a confusing whirlwind of giant, light-up letters and novelty Father of the Bride socks while we're at our most vulnerable, and we crack. We think, "how could my wedding possibly be the happiest day of my life without a jukebox selfie machine?"
The wedding machine is a giant combine harvester of cynical ploys, and if you're not careful you'll be dragged in head first. I know. I've been there. I've hovered over a job-lot of paper pom-poms "just in case" my foraged greenery arrangements don't do the job on the day. I've become obsessed with napkins. NAPKINS. I had a nightmare about my wedding rings, and another one about the venue being cold, empty, dark, chairless and none of the guests showed up. Believe me, I've been there. I am there. Only today I tried to spend £200 on golden straws.
This week I decided that enough was most definitely enough, and I've worked hard to start enjoying the planning process again. Want tips? Here they are.
Walk through your dream day step-by-step and write down EVERYTHING.
Obsessive? Potentially. It works though.
It's not as difficult as it sounds either. Just start right from the days working up the the wedding and try to incorporate everything you want to do. That way when you're making your schedule and planning when to get all the important little things done, you can make sure everything works around the main points you're looking forward to the most. This way you (hopefully) won't miss out on watching the sunset on your final night as a single person, or eating a donut for breakfast on your wedding day, or whatever it is you really want to do. If you don't make time for it, it might not happen. Don't risk it.
Plan. Plan your arse off.
If you want your wedding to run smoothly, if you want your wedding to feel effortless, if you want people to say "wow, what a chilled, laid-back wedding", you're gonna need to plan like you've never planned before.
If you've been planning like a champ, you might start to feel like you're losing some of the impulsive fun of the day. Trust me. Nothing chilled and laid-back ever happens at random when 80+ guests, bands, caterers and several venues are involved. You're doing good. If you're not planning, maybe it's time to start thinking about table settings or what people are going to eat. As tempting as it is to say "meh, it'll work itself out on the day" (this used to be my favourite saying), you need to know that it probably won't. You need to plan, you need to plan some contingency plans, and you need to tell people you trust about your plans so that they can make them happen when you're otherwise indisposed.
Take things a bit more seriously.
Weddings are meant to be fun and frivolous and happy, joyous and merry and all of that business. There are some aspects of the process that require a little bit more decorum, and it's good to know when those are in advance.
Word to the wise: do not call up the registry of births and deaths to book your official marriage details and joke with the registrar about any of the questions you get asked. It is extremely difficult not to answer the question "are either of you already married?" with "not that I know of! HAHAHA" but you really need to rein it in. These people work for the government. Save it for the speeches.
Keep up your budget hat on.
If you're planning a wedding on a tight budget, it can feel like most of your savings end up being spent somewhere else. What's the point?
The point is, you're trying to create a really brilliant day with the money that you have. Don't spend more just because you're tired, or even worse, because you think you should. Ask yourself, will this make or break my day? Will this missed opportunity fill you full of regret until the day you die? Chances are, it won't. So walk away from the bespoke, glitter-filled balloons and don't worry about it.
Give people jobs to do.
Your family and friends want to help you have the best day ever, so let them! I have to admit, I've found this one difficult to do, but only because I didn't know what needed doing. By making a ton of lists to delegate jobs out to willingsuckers volunteers, I've actually shown myself the true scale of what's left to do. And it's a lot. Oh god.
Don't be shy to hand out tasks. If you're a real control freak, give out instructions or checklists, whatever. People want to help you. LET THEM.
Got more tips for me? I'm all ears. Leave me your wedding planning golden rules in the comments below and I will share the best on Twitter!
The wedding machine is a giant combine harvester of cynical ploys, and if you're not careful you'll be dragged in head first. I know. I've been there. I've hovered over a job-lot of paper pom-poms "just in case" my foraged greenery arrangements don't do the job on the day. I've become obsessed with napkins. NAPKINS. I had a nightmare about my wedding rings, and another one about the venue being cold, empty, dark, chairless and none of the guests showed up. Believe me, I've been there. I am there. Only today I tried to spend £200 on golden straws.
This week I decided that enough was most definitely enough, and I've worked hard to start enjoying the planning process again. Want tips? Here they are.
Walk through your dream day step-by-step and write down EVERYTHING.
Obsessive? Potentially. It works though.
It's not as difficult as it sounds either. Just start right from the days working up the the wedding and try to incorporate everything you want to do. That way when you're making your schedule and planning when to get all the important little things done, you can make sure everything works around the main points you're looking forward to the most. This way you (hopefully) won't miss out on watching the sunset on your final night as a single person, or eating a donut for breakfast on your wedding day, or whatever it is you really want to do. If you don't make time for it, it might not happen. Don't risk it.
Plan. Plan your arse off.
If you want your wedding to run smoothly, if you want your wedding to feel effortless, if you want people to say "wow, what a chilled, laid-back wedding", you're gonna need to plan like you've never planned before.
If you've been planning like a champ, you might start to feel like you're losing some of the impulsive fun of the day. Trust me. Nothing chilled and laid-back ever happens at random when 80+ guests, bands, caterers and several venues are involved. You're doing good. If you're not planning, maybe it's time to start thinking about table settings or what people are going to eat. As tempting as it is to say "meh, it'll work itself out on the day" (this used to be my favourite saying), you need to know that it probably won't. You need to plan, you need to plan some contingency plans, and you need to tell people you trust about your plans so that they can make them happen when you're otherwise indisposed.
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| The best thing about planning is the stationary. This is my wedding binder. Isn't it beautiful? |
Take things a bit more seriously.
Weddings are meant to be fun and frivolous and happy, joyous and merry and all of that business. There are some aspects of the process that require a little bit more decorum, and it's good to know when those are in advance.
Word to the wise: do not call up the registry of births and deaths to book your official marriage details and joke with the registrar about any of the questions you get asked. It is extremely difficult not to answer the question "are either of you already married?" with "not that I know of! HAHAHA" but you really need to rein it in. These people work for the government. Save it for the speeches.
Keep up your budget hat on.
If you're planning a wedding on a tight budget, it can feel like most of your savings end up being spent somewhere else. What's the point?
The point is, you're trying to create a really brilliant day with the money that you have. Don't spend more just because you're tired, or even worse, because you think you should. Ask yourself, will this make or break my day? Will this missed opportunity fill you full of regret until the day you die? Chances are, it won't. So walk away from the bespoke, glitter-filled balloons and don't worry about it.
Give people jobs to do.
Your family and friends want to help you have the best day ever, so let them! I have to admit, I've found this one difficult to do, but only because I didn't know what needed doing. By making a ton of lists to delegate jobs out to willing
Don't be shy to hand out tasks. If you're a real control freak, give out instructions or checklists, whatever. People want to help you. LET THEM.
Got more tips for me? I'm all ears. Leave me your wedding planning golden rules in the comments below and I will share the best on Twitter!
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